Jan. 16, 2017
New York – Earlier this week, the Interdimensional Treaty Organization (“IDTO”) passed legislation that bans certain species from engaging in interdimensional travel. The legislation was passed by a vote of 1.7 million to 436. Humans of Earth are one of seven species that have been added to the travel ban list.
One legislator from a galaxy far, far away noted that, “the list is a vital part of our interdimensional security program and the addition of Earth humans to that list is consistent with the interdimensional public interest.” The travel ban, which is effective immediately, only applies to traveling between alternate dimensions and realities, but does not prevent humans of Earth from traveling solely within this universe.
In addition, the legislation has a carve-out for representation rights with the Interdimensional Treaty Organization:
Nothing in this legislation shall be construed to bar the Earth from its normal representation rights. The Earth remains entitled to send up to three representatives to attend the Interdimensional Treaty Organization’s legislative sessions, but only one representative (and no +1) may attend the holiday party. See Final Act Embodying the Results of the Interdimensional Treaty Organization’s Travel Ban Inquiry, Jan. 16, 2017, 1867 T.B.I. 141, 33 I.D.T.O 1193 (2017).
The legislative findings painted a damning picture of human life on Earth. The findings report concludes that:
“…The people of Earth appear to be a primitive species, experiencing a rapid period of Reverse-Evolution. Complexity of thought and the quality of written communication reached their apex during what the earthlings refer to as the Enlightenment period, but have since that period declined – with the most significant rate of decline coming in just the past few years. The earthlings now primarily communicate using what are called “emojis” and “memes.” Their communications often totally lack meaning and rarely create opportunities for growth in mutual understanding.”
When asked for further comment, Earth’s IDTO representative replied: “¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
The travel ban list will be up for review again in 1.2 billion years, at the IDTO’s next legislative meeting. Hopefully, the humans of Earth will have their act together by then.
– Sandeep Dhaliwal, Correspondent